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Carrying someone else's baby

Things to consider before you decide to pursue becoming a surrogate


  1. Is your Family on Board? You will need the FULL support of your immediate family. Your children might be too young to quite understand, but you will definately need your husband or partner to be on board. The last thing you want is for your family to resent you for carrying another child because it took time away from them. You will be spending a lot of time at doctor appointments, communication with IP's (intended parents), not to mention the hormonal changes and mood swings!

  2. Have you educated yourself with the IVF process? Before you even consider starting this type of journey, I highly suggest taking several months to a year and just learn as much as you possibly can about everything you will go through. The medical screenings, psych evaluations, counseling, matching with a family, IVF medications, doctor appointments, birth and post partum.

  3. Are you done having your own children? every pregnancy can present itself with different challenges and loss of fertility is a risk. Never have someone elses baby if you think you want to have more babies of your own.

  4. What are your feelings and boundaries regarding selective termination (abortion), multiple or single embryo transfers, willingness to carry a twin (or triplet!) pregnancy, how involved of a relationship you want with the intended parents (baby's parents); these are only a few topics you will discuss during a psych evaluation and counseling session. You really need to dig deep here and determine what you are comfortable with and what exaclty you are willing or not willing to do and practice verbalizing these feelings.

  5. Will you use an agency or go at it independantly? First time surrogates should consider signing with an agency if they desire someone to walk with them every step of the way. A good agency will explain every step throughout the process, handle all financial aspects, and match you with parents who are a good fit.

If you are on a journey (or have completed one) as a gestational surrogate, I would love to hear your comments and experience below! I have carried two singleton pregnancies, for two different families. I won't be having anymore babies. But my passion for pregnancy, childbirth, and babies is still alive. I am now a certified labor doula working in the Charlotte area. I would love to connect with you if you are expecting a surro babe! #agapedoulanc #childbirth #Surrogacy #gestationalcarrier #surrogate #IVF

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